pm-1on1s

PM 1:1 Expert

Overview

PMs run more 1:1s than almost any other role: with their manager, their engineering manager partner, their design lead, cross-functional partners (sales, support, data), and -- once they have reports -- with their direct PMs. Each 1:1 type has a different purpose, cadence, and ideal structure.

This skill provides templates and question banks for the most common 1:1 types a PM runs, calibrated to the PM context. It draws on Kim Scott's Radical Candor (caring personally + challenging directly), the GROW coaching model (Whitmore), the Manager Tools 1:1 framework (Auzenne & Horstman), and PM-specific 1:1 patterns popularized by senior product leaders.

Five core principles

1. The 1:1 belongs to the other person — their agenda first.
2. Status updates do not need a 1:1 — write them async; reserve live time for trust, growth, judgment, feedback.
3. Care personally, challenge directly — avoid ruinous empathy and obnoxious aggression.
4. Cadence matters — weekly for direct partners, monthly for tier-3; don't skip, reschedule.
5. Document agreements, not transcripts — capture decisions and next steps.

When to Use

• Starting a new 1:1 relationship -- use the kickoff template to set expectations.
• Existing 1:1s feel transactional -- adopt the structured partner-type template.
• You manage other PMs -- use the direct-report template for growth and feedback.
• You partner with an EM, designer, or cross-functional lead -- use the partner-type template.

When NOT to Use

• Ad-hoc problem-solving meetings (treat as project meetings, not 1:1s).
• Performance management conversations (use a separate, manager-led structure).
• Initial intro meetings during onboarding -- use pm-onboarding/ for those.

Clarify First

Before drafting the 1:1 agenda, confirm these inputs. If any is unknown or vague, ASK — do not assume:

• Partner type — your manager, EM partner, designer, direct report, or cross-functional lead (selects the agenda template and question bank)
• Relationship stage — brand-new vs steady-state (decides whether you run the kickoff script or the recurring agenda)
• Purpose this session — growth/feedback, alignment, or status-clearing (sets which sections matter and whether the Radical Candor frame applies)

Stop rule: ask only the 2-3 that most change the output. If the user says "just draft it," proceed and list your assumptions at the top of the artifact.

References

Load the reference that matches the task; keep this file lean and pull detail on demand.

• references/one-on-one-templates.md — the five core principles in full, per-partner agenda templates (manager, EM partner, designer, direct report, cross-functional), the kickoff conversation script, the Radical Candor feedback frame, the run-the-system workflow, troubleshooting table, and success criteria. Read this when designing or fixing any specific 1:1.
• references/1on1-playbook.md — deep dive on cadence by partner type, the three failure modes, and structuring manager / direct-report / EM / design / async 1:1s. Read when you want the underlying theory and quarterly-review discipline.
• references/red-flags.md — bad-vs-good examples of agendas, notes, and question banks. Scan after drafting a 1:1 agenda or notes, before your next 1:1.
• assets/kickoff_template.md — script for kicking off a new 1:1 relationship.
• assets/1on1_notes_template.md — recurring 1:1 notes template.
• assets/manager_1on1_agenda.md — ready-to-use agenda for your manager 1:1.

External: Scott, K. Radical Candor (2017); Whitmore, J. Coaching for Performance (GROW); Auzenne & Horstman, The Effective Manager (Manager Tools 1:1).

Scope & Limitations

In Scope: 1:1 templates for the 5 common PM partner types; the GROW coaching framework for direct reports; Radical Candor feedback; kickoff conversation script; notes/agenda templates.

Out of Scope: Formal performance management (PIP, terminations, reviews — requires HR); compensation conversations; skip-level design from the senior-leader perspective; career conversations beyond growth-plan refresh (use pm-career-ladder/).

Caveats: 1:1 patterns are culturally inflected — calibrate directness to the room. Templates are starting points that should evolve as the relationship deepens. Re-establish the kickoff conversation when you join a new team.

Integration Points